Lent

Damn, its Lent already. That means I must deprive myself of something I enjoy so Jesus will love me.

At first, I figured I would do the usual, and give up cocaine or fast cars, but I never seem to be able last the entire 6 weeks, or 2 days, whichever came first.

Every year, I roll into the Easter Sunday, feeling ashamed and depressed because, once again, I failed Our Lord.

This year will be different though. This year I have YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS will keep me on track with my goal. What is your goal this year Heartssss, you ask? After much thought and deliberation, I have decided to decrease my chance of heart disease and diabetes by giving up sweets.!!!

Day 1 of Lent - no sweets

Day 2 of Lent - no sweets (so far)..unless you count the cinnamon roll, which I don't.

I know with you guys watching over me, I can accomplish my goal and hold true to my Lenten promise. What I could never do for Christ, I can do for you.

lol.

We will help you attain salvation Eileen : )

Day 3 - The unit secretary tried to trip me up today. She said "Sunshine, (yes, she calls me sunshine), I have brought you a piece of cake. Its in the staff room with your name on it" I went in, and sure enough, there it was. German chocolate too. She had even written my name on it. I left the room and went up to her. I looked her in the eye and demanded why she would tempt me as Jesus was tempted by Satan. I called her a few choice words. I then marched back to the staff room and took my marker and blackened out my name. I ate my apple and saltine crackers and felt glorified.

Down Satan! Down! I will not give in, though ye tempt me with sweets and promises of blissful sugar comas!

Heartssss, can I be the one to betray you when the time comes? I could really use 30 pieces of silver in my household cash flow around about next week.

I had a close call today. I was at Henry's, in line to check out, and they had free samples of yogurt candy covered nuts. I popped a few in my mouth before I realized that technically, this might be considered a candy. However, as I finished the 10th one, I realized I didn't really like them, so it didn't count as a sweet, and I have not broken my lenten promise to Christ after all. Whew.

I went to the bank today. Satan's spawns approached me disguised as 7 year old females dressed in some sort of uniform. They held up boxes of Samoas, my favorite cookie, and looked at me with their evil, red eyes. Sweetly they asked if I would like to 'buy' a box. Forcefully, I shoved them out of my path. One of the demons landed on her ass and pretended to cry. I entered the bank. I was trembling with anger and rage as I quickly informed the manager what was going on outside his door. He apologized and immediately had the secruity officer escort me out so that I would not have to confront the hellwhores again.

Heartssss 1, Devil 0