I am one of these people that over think shit.. seriously over think, i am obsessive about it, worry and think and try to work out a solution to something thats bothering me until i can find an acceptable "fix" to my problem i will continue to worry about it. I never really thought about this (haha) until the last year or two, but.. i don't know how to change the way i am.
The reason i brought this up, and the reason i came to my attention in the past year is this.. I have a horrible ex.
He seems to do everything in his power to control my life still, he is remarried and his wife has two daughters.. i would think with a new wife, a teenage stepdaughter and under ten stepdaughter he'd have enough on his plate without hassling me still. but no.. I feel i need to give an example of his horribleness (just so you realise i'm not obsessive about EVERYTHING) okay.. i'm maybe a little OCD about most things lol. Anyway. late last year my lovely man was away in Shanghai for work, and the ex and i have an agreement that every second weekend i drop them off on friday night and he brings them back sunday evening. except during school holidays when this changes as ex sees fit. So these school holidays i thought he wanted me to drop them off saturday night because he had some deal on friday night he had to be at.. because the boys were staying for a week (school holidays) i wrote this on my calender. so when i got a phone call about 6.30p.m friday night asking why i hadn't dropped the boys off i was honestly confused, checked the calender and said oh i thought it was saturday? well.. then the ranting started, i'd better get my fat ass over there or he'd make me sorry, name calling, screaming, vicious threats about never seeing my kids again - stand over tactics but over the phone, i told him i was really sorry simple misunderstanding but i was in the middle of their dinner and one of the boys had a birthday party to go to the next day anyway. no good.. he wanted them RIGHT NOW, so i hung up because there was no reasoning.. he went round to my moms and started yelling abuse at her and threating her, he was standing on her front lawn screaming at her because he couldn't get what he wanted from me. the police were called, he was told to behave.
recently i had to move because the house we rented is being sold. i have been threatened with court action again.. (yes we have been down this road, and spent 8 months in court) When i told him to go ahead i was sick of his shit (after i spoke to my lawyer lol) he did nothing.. but the day we were moving i had a phone call from him saying that he no longer wanted the dog i had to come and pick him up right now or he wouldn't be responsible for what he did. the dog in question i had when we met, he was 6 months old and has lived in the same house for 16 years.. he is old, deaf and going blind.. the ex has had him for the last 5 years we have been seperated. just another form of control.
so.. i don't know what to do about this situation, i have spoken to womens refuge about how they cope, i have spoken to lawyers, police, they can't do anything because he never makes a direct threat against me or my family or my property, apparently saying "I'll make you sorry" "you'll never see your kids again" etc isn't direct enought.
So i hate that i worry about this shit and i don't know how to deal with it when it happens.. the fact that it has been 5 years and is happening less gives me a bit of hope.. the fact that it is still happening at all is depressing as hell! but i guess it will always happen as long as the kids are kids.. still i hold no hope that it'll stop once they reach adulthood, i seem to be this assholes hobby.
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