Sunday, 29 May 2011

I've had the last two days off work, i'm sick.. just a common cold, but i'm not allowed at work cause i work in a rest home and its not cool to make the residents sick, also being pregnant i can take a large piss all in the way of drugs that could "help" so its lemon and honey, garlic and ginger and paracetamol.. i work with a hippie who assures me that garlic and ginger is natures antibiotic! excuse me while i roll my eyes here.. i'd rather eat it for the taste factor and stick to science when it comes to my being sick.

anyway! the reason i'm posting is that having had the last two days off work, i've had more time that usual to spend on the computer and watch telly.. and you know? I think i'm going to give up watching the news.. its so bloody depressing, seriously.. we have hate, war, natural disasters, violence, kids being killed/kidnapped/abused.. and then they always finish the news with some fluff piece, like oh yeah we've totally depressed you for the past hour with how utterly crap our world is and how shitty we treat each other, so heres a piece about farmer fred who grew a pumpkin 5 meters wide!! yeah wooo now i feel better, thank GOD for giant pumpkins.

The legal age for getting your learners permit here in NZ is 15.. the legal age for drinking is 18, buying cigaretters is 18, you can get married with your parents permission at 16, you can vote at 18, have sex at 16, you are legally and adult at 20 and can get married without parents permission and you can leave you child alone at home at 14 (this is also the age they are allowed to babysit younger children)

Do you know how many kids under the age of 25 kill them selves on our roads? every weekend.. or so it seems to me, 15 -24 seems to be the biggest age group of fatal car crashes or crashes causing serious injury.. i'm not suggesting that you wait till your 25 to get your licesne (unless your my kid, then you ain't getting it ever!) but there has to be something that can be done about this... making extra driver training courses compulsory? raise the legal drinking age back to 20?

And i've also noticed that kids like my boy who is 14, thinks he can drive because hes good at it on the PS3, i know you're laughing.. and think i'm being stupid, but seriously! i cannot get it thru his skull that driving on a road full of cars is a helluva lot different, and being a passenger in a car just isn't the same, its like they become.. insensitive to life?.. if that makes sense, i've also noticed that during the holidays when Mike is allowed free time on the PS that he thinks war and killing would be no big deal.. altho he did say he wouldn't shoot "People" just zombies, don't get me wrong, hes not a total zoner on the PS.. he just says some dumb teenage shit that makes me think CHRIST!! This whole "i can drive" shit is just driving me batshit!

I don't have a point to make in this post.. i'm just.. well i dunno, hoping that i'm not alone in dealing with the dumbness of teenage boys, and thinking the world is turning to crud in a can.

Zombies are people too!!

Right.. which is what i've been pointing out to him! he's pissed off at me cause he got a shitty report card and i banned him from playing PS during the week - which is tough tit, he understands the rules, and bless him, hes a good kid and follows the rules, i'm lucky hes such a nice guy - nicer when hes not sulking cause of PS withdrawal lol

And he just pointed out to me that he didn't say war and killing zombies would be no big deal, he said, and i quote "I am fully prepared for a zombie apocalypse, i play black ops and i've seen zombieland" Riiight...

No...you are not alone raising teenage boys...I've got one. He has similar attitudes to the games he plays....but thinks I am his ally against his mum - who worries about his screen time. I'd hate to disappoint him....anyway....who am I to complain about screen time?

But to be honest - he does a lot of other things too. He fills up the idle time playing games or going online. What did we used to do? Play outside? Read a book? Watch television? Make believe our own worlds alone and with friends? -- he does all that too. There are a lot of hours to fill in a teenager's day.

Does it make him insensitive to life? Hard to say, but I don't think so. I don't know how psychologically different it is playing war with your friends in the park or using skype for group chat and shooting the crap outta each other on X-Box Live. Seems to me to be very similar emotional experiences. I remember playing World War 2 - and when I killed Germans -- in my mind I really was killing them. As for driving -- I remember trying to start my Dad's car when I was about 11 years old. It all seemed so easy, but when push came to shove...it wasn't like I'd imagined it in my head after watching my Dad drive everyday.

My wife would argue about the lack of physical activity or the graphic images they get subjected to. Well, I remind her that he is a member of sports clubs and regularly plays football and engages in athletics. That takes a couple of hours a day on top of his school hours. After that, the kid just wants to chill - why not play his games?

I've got no argument against the advanced graphic images. These games get more and more realistic each time a new one comes out. Maybe they are too realistic and inappropriate...maybe the video game designers should stick to making crappy images and censor every violent action so that we have to conjure the images and scenarios in our own heads.

Way I see it, if he spends his school hours working hard, gets good grades/reports, has friends, practices his musical instruments AND is involved in a variety of sporting type activities -- what is there to complain about if he spends a few hours a day playing a video game? Like I say to my wife...I'm struggling to think of what else I would ask him to do in these downtime periods...'Hey son, switch off the game and read a book...or go out and play in the dark with your friends...or sit on the edge of the bed and just think...why?...cos that's the sort of stuff we think we used to do when we were kids and it's better for you.'

lol @ playing black ops and watching zombieland.

I have a friend who is constantly talking about being prepared for the zombies. He has an interesting take on what the zombies wil be though. In his mind it won't be like the zombies that we see in movies. Rather more like the next drug epidemic to sweep through society. If you take a look at what crack and meth have done and how addicts of both drugs are pretty much souless zombies already his theory might not be so far fetched.

your friend is possibly right.. i only have to walk down the street in Wellington to see any number of zombies.

And space, i appreciate what you're saying, and i agree with you.. Mike isn't like your son tho - he lacks confidence, and i don't know how to build this up, he is extremely confident when it comes to playing PS, because he is good at it, but when it comes to school work and sports he struggles.. he doesn't struggle to play sport, but he struggles with the fact that he isn't the best on the field or court.. how do you explain to your son that he doesn't have to be best just play the game, and be the best you can be - he doesn't like this concept, he wants to be THE best, part of this attitude comes from his dad, who is also very competitive, and part of it is just "him" he is competitive and hates losing.. he also hates the thought that he may have let the team down, he wants to play basketball, but thinks his size is a factor (hes slim and shortish) so.. instead of thinking i'll play and just enjoy it, he just doesn't play.
School work is hard for Mike being dyslexic, but he is making improvements in that area too.. which i am rapt about, but.. he doesn't care for school work lol

I can't force him to play sport for a team, but he does skate regularly, and we go swimming.. walking, hiking, bike riding.. we play cricket in the summer down the beach, i've suggested horse riding but get turned down flat by all 3 males in this house lol

how do you ignite that spark of interest when you struggle to find what you're interested in?

lol....can't say I blame him or them about the whole horse riding thing! My daughter loves it...and try as I might...I just don't see the fascination.

I hear what you are saying about your son. Parents worry - that's how it goes. I'm sure that he will grow into a great adult - he has a pretty good role model : )...... I have a lot of faith in your ability to support your sons (and daughter) through the difficult times...and the love that will eventually bind them into good adults. That is in no way meant to be patronising.

It was the video game aspect of your post that interested me -- cos I regularly have that debate at home and work. Perhaps because I am a big fan of the internet and video games - my opinion is too one sided, but I really don't see the harm that they do.

i'm a huge fan of gaming also.. and i know you get sucked in and involved - and i don't see the harm either, IF it has balance.

And i have to be the bad guy a lot of the time because i force that balance, but you know.. its because i know how much it can suck you in, and hey i guess moms are always the bad guy when it comes to kids, sons in paticular.

Mike is a nice kid, and its interesting.. i was flicking thru a book on moms raising sons at the book store the other day, and theres a bit in there where a shrink asked the mother what she wanted from her 15 year old son?.. she reeled off a long long list, but basically what it came down to was she wanted to know she was doing a good job, and that she wanted some sign that she was raising her son "right" - i laughed at this, because thats all i want too - but like my sister pointed out to me, you get that sign all the time, everytime someone tells you how nice and well mannered your boys are. And shes right, i don't worry what my boys are doing when they aren't with me, i trust them when i leave them home during the holidays (altho mike did cook some two min noodles in the microwave and forgot to add water!)

I worry.. as i'm sure every other parent does, and i don't think that will ever go away.