What exactly do you want out of life? What’s your goal and have you reached it?

Most of us go through life earning a living to support our families or like myself
to keep a roof over my head and to have a better way of life.

When I was at school I had all these ambitions and careers that I wanted to do,
believe it or not for a long time I wanted to be a Police Officer, then I wanted
to be an Engineer, before I had even thought what career I really wanted to take,
I finished my education, left school and got the first job I could, which was is an
Accounts Office for a stationery firm, which I am still doing 23 years on, in another
company, although I have worked to earn myself a position of “Accounts Manager”,
probably the furthest I will get.

It’s only recently that I have wished I taken my education to a further level, and question
myself am I too old to continue and seek another career? Or should I settle for the fact
that I have a decent steady job and earn a decent salary?

I personally believe that although I did not take my education further, what I lack in
Intelligence I make up with in common sense, I married a good man, settled down in
a nice house and have a pretty good living. Don’t get me wrong I’m not questioning
things because I’m not happy, I am extremely happy, I am questioning “could I have
bettered myself”? Probably not, thinking on the other hand, if I hadn’t taken the path
in which I did, I may not have met my wonderful husband, so it now boils down to
am I too old to continue with education and seek another career?

I have always wanted to swim with Dolphins, hopefully one day that dream will come
true.

Your thoughts on whether if at 39 I am too old to continue my education and seek
another career would be very much appreciated.

Thanks.

CwAzY

HI Crazy, needless to say I only have one answer for you: NO< you are not too old for doing whatever you want, but your post is much more than a simple question.
Its about choices we make in our lives, its about choosing and accepting what we chose, its about looking back and understanding that what we are today is due to some priorities we had at some point in our life.
Once I tried to write a novel about people and their paths in life. Here is my theory about it (the novel wasn't ever finished, like so many things I started it ended being just a reference for what I failed to accomplish in my life):
We are all born with a set of capabilities, abilities, things we can and things we want to do. Those of us who can find a path that matches their "inner structure" (developed later by education, experience etc) are happy people. Those who find themselves on another path that the one they were meant to be, are the unhappy ones (I use here happy and unhappy not in their dramatic meanings, but more general - you can replace it with "content" and "discontent" or anything similar). In my novel, people were giving the opportunity of trying to see how their lives could have been if their choices and /or circumstances wouldn't have made them to live on another path than that one that was due for them. But what happened to the path we didn't choose? Well, and it was how my novel started, its been occupied by another person who is also unhappy of course because somebody else was "living" what should have been their "life" and so on.
Ange, in the terms of my novel, your choice was right, because you know what you chose brought you a life you enjoy today (choosing is a process in which we always lose something, the important thing is that what we lose to be less important that what we chose).
Maybe today you need to make another decision to keep you on the life path you are (and made you a happy person): and if that is to continue your education, than do it. I always thought that people should start really learning after their 30's. I have students older than me, and I am amazed how much more sense learning has for them than it has for the "regular" students.
I really hope you will swim with the dolphins, Ange. Do it for me and for anyone who doesnt have enough courage to look for their authentic trajectory in life.
Nina

Thank you very much Nina for your reply, to be totally honest,
I was going to delete this post for a number of reasons mainly
being that I did not want to be ridiculed in anyway, took me
a lot of courage to post this in the first place.

I would be interested to read your novel, such a shame you
never finished it, maybe looking at this post you could find the
time to finish it? I admire anyone who has a bash at things such
as writing a book.

I know deep down I took the right path, I have been working for
the same company now for almost 19 years, you kind of lose
confidence within yourself and don't realise it's happened until well
it's too late I guess.

Last night, I asked Si to read my post, then little later on he said to
me I understand your thoughts and whatever you decide to do i will
support you 100%.

I guess it's a matter for me to somehow build my confidence back, maybe
try a little studying to start of with, what exactly I have no idea, a while
ago I was consenplating on going to night school, I asked Lillie for her advice,
as I know she goes to night school, she said it's a great idea, I didn't know
what I wanted to study, then came her question "what are your interests?",
sad but true I could not reply to that, cause I have no idea, I thought about
languages, then writing, there is another word for that but I forgot it, as I
like writing poems etc, again this is where the lack of confidence comes in,
and my capabilities, questioning myself, am I capable to study these.

It's certainly something to think about and I will keep you posted in whatever
and if I decide do.

Will also let you know if I ever get to swim with the Dolphins.

Thanks again


CrAzY

Hi Crazy.

Following on from the above I would like to add to the discussion.

Firstly, the most important aspect of the whole subject is that you are happy. If you are truly happy then the foundations are there and no-one else can take that away from you.

If you wish to embark on more education or training, I would say do so only if that is what you want to do and it would be a mistake to start studying because you are comparing with someone else. However I would always encourage anyone to want to increase their knowledge and study what they want to study. Learning new things is always a joy and the day I stop learning is the day I hang up boots and give up.

It was an Interesting comment on intelligence. I barely know you so I have no gauge on you personally but I do believe intelligence can be measured in many ways not just the amount of knowledge you have in your head. What I can say though is common sense is a very powerful form of intelligence and it should never be underrated. I sometimes work with people who come across as highly intelligence. Sadly they have no common sense and very often get themselves into situations us normal people would have foreseen and avoided.

I reiterate what I said earlier. If you want to do something do it because you want to. If you want to study more or change jobs do it because you want to not because others think you should or you feel inferior to others. You are NOT inferior to anyone and never believe you are!

Del.

merry christmas

Thank you for your reply Deli, I agree there are many forms of intelligence,
not just the amount of knowledge someone has.

I'm not comparing myself to anyone really, not in the sense I think you
mean it anyway, it's true that you learn something everyday.

And yup, there is nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself, that's
if I read your post right.

As I said to Nina, as and when I decide what to do I shall keep all posted..

And Again,

Thanks for you reply, very much appreciated.


CrAzY

Thank you very much Lilliekins, yup I know we have
privately discussed this many times, and very much
appreciated each and every advice you have given me,
as I always do.

I think that you also know me well enough to know that
I don't enter into things lightly and I put my heart and
soul into whatever is put infront of me, so no, I won't
do anything on impulse.

This is the reason why I did this post, to get others views
and to also know whether they have reached their goal?
unfortunately, no one has mentioned that and I respect
their privacy. I hope many appreciate the courage it took me
to do this post, as I said in my reply to Nina, I was going to delete it.

However, I thank you all for your replies and have taken onboard
your advices thank you so much, really is appreciated.

Again, whatever I do decide to do, I will of course keep you posted : ).


With regards to your book club, check the reply i did, excellent idea well
done : )

Ange

To answer the other question:

I have achieved every target I set when I was young. But I set more as I go along in life and so overall I could say I will never achieve all my goals because more are always set.

Am I happy? Yes. Could I be happier? I don't know until I experience more happiness!

Do I have regrets? We all have some regrets but I don't have any that make me wish I had done things differently.

I still have drive and ambition but it is true to say that it is in a different to when i was 16.

Does that answer the question?

Del.

Hey Deli,

Yes it does, and that's pretty much what I would have said too.

This is in response to Crazy wanting to swim with dolphins. Give it up. I have done it - it made me very sad - dolphins should be free, not exploited by man.

Ange,
The reason I didnt finish the novel is the same for not finishing many things I started in my life: getting bored because i could see the end of the adventure, lack of challenge and a general feeling of discontent with my writing. I wrote a lot all my life, but with few exceptions, nothing was worthy reading. I hate being mediocre, and as a writer its what I am. So, I gave up writing poetry or novels, and focused on my "scientific" area of expertise.
These days I dont like to talk too much about myself, some lets get back at you. I told you I have/had many students older than me. Once, I even had a granddad with his nephew both students in the same class. They were 75 and 19, but sometimes you wouldn't who was younger, but for sure the old guy was smarter. Why? Because he didn't use only his "memory" (not too much left anyway at his age), but he used his experience, his common sense which made him one of our best students.
I always thought people should start learning for real after being 30's. When you are young you usually study for getting a degree, that can help to make a good career. We have a saying in Romanian for those going through school without really learning anything: like a goose through water, without anything touching them.
Another reason I like the idea of you going back to school is the effect learning have on your soul and mind: it makes you younger: learning is an adventure, with many surprises and unknown paths. At the end of it, you find yourself changed, and nothing is better than to surprise yourself.
You said it is hard for you to point what your interests in learning are. Oh, but it is so easy. You are a smart young woman, with an experience of life that can help you study anything related to human nature (psychology, anthropology even history), although the idea of studying writing, has more sense for me because you said you like to write and this can be a passionate adventure
Anyway, no matter what you choose, you can always go back and choose again if you don't find it challenging enough. JUST DO IT. Dont spend too much time thinking about it, too much reflection leads you to impotency. You have Si on your side , you have your friends encouraging you.
You can only succeed, there is no failing if you TRY.
I really wish you good luck, autumn is near, better start looking and make a decision.
NIna

Hey thank you Alex for your reply and welcome to the forum,
many ways I totally agree with you that Dolphins or any other
animal for that matter should not be exploited by man, they
should have free will.

I totally disagree with horse racing, greyhounds racing and
so on.

I am aware that places/countries have like a big pools for this
reason only to be able to swim with them, because I have
never actually been to one i'm not 100% sure if this is what
I mean. If I was to swim in their own surroundings, I imagine
there would be sharks too lol.

On the other hand if you look around though like zoo's etc, you
really think this is wrong? most zoo's I have been to they try
make their surroundings pretty much similar to the ones in their
habitats. Also zoo's are educational too for children , surely
this can't be wrong? I do though know what you mean.

Would be interested to know what you actually think about zoo's?
and anyone else for that matter.

Look forward to your next post Alex : )


CrAzY

Hiya Nina,

I did see your reply this morning, didn't really get chance to reply back,
as I wanted to reply to Alex.

Anyhow, I can truly relate to where you said about not finishing things,
cause of boredom, I am pretty much the same and probably many others
too. Also lack of challenge BOY do I relate to that one, infact Nina sweetie
I really think you have hit the nail on the head, I no longer find my job
challenging, BUT as I said to someone last night, few years ago I did get
another job, in accounts too but not fashion, I thought about it long
and hard and came to the conclusion grass isn't always greener on the
other side therefore I declined the position and continued plodding
along lol, doesn't stimulate my brain anymore, I can do my job standing on
my head without bragging but it's true. That's why I thought about maybe
getting more education to stimulate my brain and also to give me somekind
of interest, also give me more knowledge rather than doing the drastic thing
of getting another job, only to find out that I wish I hadn't.


Maybe, once I find something that I would be interested in to study, that may
point me in the right direction.


And Eeekkk autumn is near lol.. shhhhhh not had summer yet lmao.

I will let you know IF and WHAT I end up doing lol, and thank you very much
for your interest : )


Huggzzzz


Ange

crazy go down to cornwall and swim with the WILD dolphins

What do i want out of life? can't answer it, every day i have a different want lol my goal is to get to the end of it knowing i've had fun and made other peoples lives fun.... simple as that

Money, job? nah thats just part of living no goals there. As long as im smiling while working and have enough money to not struggle i shall not be worried by it

Hmmmm Cornwall huh.... are there by any chance any Sharks? lol


That's true about every day wanting something different. And yup as long as you
are happy why should it matter? agree with you there too, but ya know sometimes
when you get that feeling?, tomorrow morning I could wake up and that feeling
not be there lol.

Very probable that I will look into further education a little more before I truly
decide what to do, as to my employment?? still unsure about that, hey I'm
part of the furniture here lol

Every reply I have had on this subject has been great, I applaud and thank you all
for taking the time not only to read it, but also to respond to too

Thanks.


CrAzY