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| | Post Your Jokes Here!!! |  |
| | | Author | Message |
|---|
CwAzY
| | Subject: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:39 am | |
| Men Are Never Satisfied!!!!  hehehe | |
| | | | CwAzY
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:27 am | |
| | |
| | | | CwAzY
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Wed Apr 22, 2009 1:02 am | |
| Lawyers!!
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two
men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have
to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the
lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me over there, under that
tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, too."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife
and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even in a limousine.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass
is almost a foot high!"
hehe typical!!! | |
| | | | CwAzY
| | Subject: Presence of the Mind! Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:28 am | |
| Not only our technical knowledge helps, but also the presence of mind and the right answer at right time.
Even if u don't know the answer for a question just confuse the questioner.
Question and the Answer given by Candidates ......
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
-----------------------------
Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all its already built.
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Q. Approximately how many birthdays does the average Japanese woman have?
A. Just one. All the others are anniversaries.
-----------------------------
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
-----------------------------
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A.. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. .
-----------------------------
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. He sleeps at night. .
-----------------------------
Q. Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today ?
A.. Because he is dead.
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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become ?
A. It becomes wet.
-----------------------------
Q. What often falls but never gets hurt ?
A. Rain
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Q. What is that no man ever saw which never was but always will be?
A. TOMORROW
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Q. What looks like half apple?
A. The other half.
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Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A. Dinner.
-----------------------------
Q. What gets wet with drying?
A. A towel.
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Q. What 3 letters change a girl into a woman ?
A. Age.
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Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A. It caused a revolution.
-----------------------------
Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
A. Because it has its own scales.
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Q. Why does a bike rest on its leg?
A. Because it is too tyred.
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Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A.. liquid
-----------------------------
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this. "What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" He was selected .... | |
| | | | Thomas
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Sun May 17, 2009 7:47 am | |
| The CIA is conducting a job-interview.
First candidate is an ex-marine.
The CIA-official gives him a gun and says: your wife is in the room next to ours, tied to a chair, go in there and kill her using this gun.
10 minutes later the ex-marine returns, tears in his eyes, and says: i can't do it, i love her.
The official sais: sorry, you're not what we're looking for.
The next candidate is an ex-navy seal. He's not married, so they've put his brother in the chair.
15 minutes later he returns to the official's office and with trembling voice and hands he says: i just can't do it, i've killed many people, but this is my brother, my blood.
Again the official says: sorry, you're not what we're looking for.
Third candidate is a black woman from brooklyn.
Your husband is in the room nextdoors, go in there and kill him with this gun, the official tells her.
10 seconds later he hears BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG...then silence...a few seconds later he hears loud screaming, then silence again...
Seconds later the black woman appears in his office, covered in blood...
She looks at the official and says: the damn gun was loaded with blanks, so i had to beat that nigger to death with it!!!! | |
| | | | maggie4818mag
Moderator
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Sun May 17, 2009 7:49 am | |
| Well crazy nice topic but unfortunately i have no sense of humor and dont know any jokes  Just wanted write you that ,continue to post so i can read em and laugh : ) Maggie | |
| | | | CwAzY
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Mon May 18, 2009 3:26 am | |
|  Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.
The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange.
So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up.
Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley.'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:
'There's Stanley with them two assholes.' | |
| | | | CwAzY
| | | | | spacemariner26
Administrator
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Mon May 18, 2009 5:14 am | |
| Cwazyyyyyy.....
You forgot that in my case...my number one is me...IDOL | |
| | | | sneakelin
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Mon May 18, 2009 5:34 am | |
|  @ space ................. | |
| | | | Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Mon May 18, 2009 9:33 am | |
|
Last edited by Lillie on Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:09 pm; edited 1 time in total |
| | | | CwAzY
| | Subject: Re: Post Your Jokes Here!!! Mon May 18, 2009 11:10 am | |
| LoL @ Space...
And Lilliekins do you buy them over the counter??? if so
I shall make that my first job tomorrow : ) | |
| | | | | | Post Your Jokes Here!!! | |
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